Out, Out Damned Wart
The Broom Hilda contest is plodding along. (the nominees are here and here); unlike the Family Circus contest, which whipped up quite a response of venom and hatred. Is it possible that you people hate a cute, loving family more than you hate a witch who lives in an enchanted forest?? What the heck is wrong with you? Families are GOOD. Little children are CUTE. LOVE makes the world go 'round. And yet, I get nothing but complaints and debate about worst Family Circus. Now, we are debating about a WITCH and . . .nothing. Crickets chirping. For God's sake!! What is wrong with you people?? Anti-family, I assume.
Or maybe, there are too many to choose from. Because here's another nominee, submitted by John Sullivan:
John will have to explain what he thinks is so bad about this one, because, quite frankly, I think it's sooooooo funny! She says she has the skills to run a modern office, BUT . . . doesn't know what a computer is!!! HA HA HA!! Because running a computer is the #1 skill for a modern office! Ooh hoo hoo. Side splitting. I guess she doesn't know about the computer because she lives in an enchanted forest. But wait, there's more! In panel 3, we get to see the potential future employer jump up and down and scream. HA HA. Luckily for him, his phone and blotter randomly disappeared from the desk.
And Broomie misinterprets this as his excitability. And thinks she's the lady to help out. Phew! I gotta stop. This is making me laugh too hard.
When Broom Hilda is looking at you head on is her wart harder to see? Or is that just me? If I had a big wart like that (and I don't, FYI), then I'd always try to look right at you so that you couldn't see it.
She's a witch. Why does she need to know how to run a modern office? Can't she just use her witch powers to create spreadsheets and other documents? If I were a witch (and I'm not, FYI), I think I would use my powers on Excel at the very least. Word, too. I would be flummoxed trying to merge two documents, one which used an "auto number" list, and one which had a manually created list. Then, I would cast a spell:
Double Double, toil and trouble
Why does that bullet look like a bubble?
Fillet of a fenny snake
Why the fuck can't I insert a page break?
Eye of newt and toe of frog
Bill Gates go screw a dog
And etc., etc. And, OK, I'd probably use my witch powers whenever I had to cut and paste between PowerPoint presentations. For some reason, whenever I do that now, it pastes in teal (even though it wasn't teal in the original presentation). If I were a witch, I doubt I'd have this problem. Maybe the lesson isn't that I should want to be a witch. Maybe the lesson is that I should get a better handle on the suite of Microsoft Office products.
I guess Broom Hilda doesn't want to use her witch powers in an office setting. Or, maybe she's not allowed. Sort of like how Hogwart's kids can't use magic when they are out of term and in Muggle land. I can respect that. Wouldn't want Prof. McGonagall to get after her. Actually, I sort of would. I think Prof. McGonagall kicks ass.
I'm still working on setting up the new blog. So far we have: Mr. Dithers, Family Circus Grandma, Lucky Eddie and Helga (both from Hagar), Dee Patterson (FBOFW), and Gaylord (Broom Hilda's buzzard friend). We could use others, if you are interested. Some people I think may be interesting: Irving, Cathy's mom, Cathy's dad, Lt. Fuzz, Miss Buxley, Gen Halftrack, Ted Forth . . . Seriously, if you're interested, let me know. I think this will be a lot of fun!
Or maybe, there are too many to choose from. Because here's another nominee, submitted by John Sullivan:
John will have to explain what he thinks is so bad about this one, because, quite frankly, I think it's sooooooo funny! She says she has the skills to run a modern office, BUT . . . doesn't know what a computer is!!! HA HA HA!! Because running a computer is the #1 skill for a modern office! Ooh hoo hoo. Side splitting. I guess she doesn't know about the computer because she lives in an enchanted forest. But wait, there's more! In panel 3, we get to see the potential future employer jump up and down and scream. HA HA. Luckily for him, his phone and blotter randomly disappeared from the desk.
And Broomie misinterprets this as his excitability. And thinks she's the lady to help out. Phew! I gotta stop. This is making me laugh too hard.
When Broom Hilda is looking at you head on is her wart harder to see? Or is that just me? If I had a big wart like that (and I don't, FYI), then I'd always try to look right at you so that you couldn't see it.
She's a witch. Why does she need to know how to run a modern office? Can't she just use her witch powers to create spreadsheets and other documents? If I were a witch (and I'm not, FYI), I think I would use my powers on Excel at the very least. Word, too. I would be flummoxed trying to merge two documents, one which used an "auto number" list, and one which had a manually created list. Then, I would cast a spell:
Double Double, toil and trouble
Why does that bullet look like a bubble?
Fillet of a fenny snake
Why the fuck can't I insert a page break?
Eye of newt and toe of frog
Bill Gates go screw a dog
And etc., etc. And, OK, I'd probably use my witch powers whenever I had to cut and paste between PowerPoint presentations. For some reason, whenever I do that now, it pastes in teal (even though it wasn't teal in the original presentation). If I were a witch, I doubt I'd have this problem. Maybe the lesson isn't that I should want to be a witch. Maybe the lesson is that I should get a better handle on the suite of Microsoft Office products.
I guess Broom Hilda doesn't want to use her witch powers in an office setting. Or, maybe she's not allowed. Sort of like how Hogwart's kids can't use magic when they are out of term and in Muggle land. I can respect that. Wouldn't want Prof. McGonagall to get after her. Actually, I sort of would. I think Prof. McGonagall kicks ass.
I'm still working on setting up the new blog. So far we have: Mr. Dithers, Family Circus Grandma, Lucky Eddie and Helga (both from Hagar), Dee Patterson (FBOFW), and Gaylord (Broom Hilda's buzzard friend). We could use others, if you are interested. Some people I think may be interesting: Irving, Cathy's mom, Cathy's dad, Lt. Fuzz, Miss Buxley, Gen Halftrack, Ted Forth . . . Seriously, if you're interested, let me know. I think this will be a lot of fun!
posted by big al at 7:05 PM
4 Comments:
INFURIATING!! Broom Hilda sucks and blows!!
Laura
I guess Broom Hilda has just never incurred my wrath or hatred like Family Circus has. I think this has to do with the fact that it hasn't been carried in any local newspapers for easily a decade, if not more. I remember when I was a little kid thinking that "Gaylord" was a funny name but that's the only fleeting memory I have of the strip, so it probably got punted off all the local papers long, long ago.
And "Marvin." Is that strip still around? The one with the chunky baby? That comic was in my local paper for a long time and then one day, years ago, it disappeared. It must not have been a very good comic though because I never even noticed it was gone until I saw it in some other paper somewhere and I thought, "Hey, this looks familiar!"
I used to read the funny pages without thinking about them much; now that I do a comic strip and regularly visit this blog, I can't help but sigh in disappointment when I read them nowadays. I promise that if I ever get "George" syndicated that I will never feature a stereotypical overgrown dog (I might feature one that doesn't act anything like a big overgrown dog), a geriatric, decrepit old person, or a husband who is a bad cook. And just for good measure, NEVER will I feature a kid who says something that would be considered "cute" by someone over the age of 65. No, it's all "Well, I just think THAT shouldn't be in the papers, Bernie" for me.
I think it's because Broom Hilda is drawn kinda funny. The words are never funny, but those fuzzy anthropomorphic things jumping around are always drawn in amusing ways. Same with Beetle Bailey. You can't actually read the words without getting a headache, but I always get a kick out of Beetle in his squashed roadkill state with the stars shooting out of him.
Your Microsoft Word chant is way funnier than anything ever in Broom Hilda! Can you make me one for the accursed Table of Contents feature?
Accursed is right. I'm not sure witch powers will work on MS Office. I think they themselves work using black magic, so would be impervious to the spells.
Post a Comment
<< Home