Kitty Update

1) Ted asks, "Have you found Kitty yet?" Question: Why did Ted stop looking? He was looking for Kitty in the back yard yesterday. Why did he give up and abdicate this task to Sally?

2) Kitty has never stepped a foot beyond the patio, so they think they are going to have to look for her inside. If she's never been outside, why didn't they START LOOKING INSIDE first? Great Dane! I thought they were bad pet-finders yesterday. Now, I just think they are morons.

3) "Punchline": "We may need to prepare ourselves for a series of unpleasant discoveries." Word. This can't come out well for us, the readers:

Kitty may be alive and trapped somewhere. They are going to come across a nice pile of Kitty poop (as WoodrowFan obsereved, "Poop elves!"). And, not to get too sidetracked, but why was the empty litter box their clue that Kitty was missing? What about her full bowl of food? They do feed her, don't they?

Anyway, finding a pile of poop is one unpleasant possibility. Let me just say that I am not above a little potty humor from time to time. I like to think I am sophisticated and "above" that. But, not. To wit -- the two members of my household: listen to NPR, read the Sunday New York Times, read "Great Books," and attend on-campus lectures given by famous geneticists. Also, at any mention of Russian President Vladimir Putin we make fart noises and giggle. Putin! BRAAAAAP. Hee hee HA HA! What smells? (besides increasingly heavy-handed state control of the Russian media?) Who cut the cheese??

So, I'm thinking some potty humor in Sally Forth could be pretty funny, I'm just curious how this will be presented. Will the pile of poop have wavy "bad aroma" lines coming out of it? Will it be steaming? Will the Forths have little dizzy marks around their heads, accompanied by stars -- to show how putrid the smell is?

Of course, the other possibility is that they find Kitty dead somewhere. I don't really have a very good "dead pet cat" sense of humor. So, I'm not sure I'll find that as funny as a big pile of cat shit. Why would they kill off Kitty? I remember when the dog in For Better or For Worse died several years ago. But FBOFW is one of those strips where the characters age, so it only made sense for one of the dogs to pass on to the happy hunting grounds. The characters don't age in Sally Forth (as evidenced by, among other things, Sally's 1980s hair and the 1980s glasses of her co-worker). So why does Kitty have to die?

While I still welcome more Marmaduke theories (they have been a hoot to read), I think we can call off the search, because we have the winner. First, some of the new theories I have discarded:

1) "They both have their mouths open. How do you know it's not Marmaduke saying, "It's lunchtime." So, really he's just being lazy in bed all day, and making her bring his lunch. Why do we just assume it's the lady saying "It's lunchtime."?"

--- hmm. I assumed that because humans generally have the power of speech and dogs don't, that it was the woman speaking. Still, this is an interesting theory.

2) "This is a meta-statement to anyone reading their comic page at lunch time. You read it. It says "It's lunch time." And you think, "Ha! It is indeed lunch time! How funny!"

3) "Marmaduke has been beheaded and left in the bed, much like the horse in The Godfather, but in reverse. She hasn't discovered it yet, and the next panel would be the shock, disgust & horror. Like in Reservoir Dogs where the camera cuts away before the policeman's ear is severed."

But the winner is . . . Drum Roll please . . . submitted by Shawn Roberts:

"She's planning to eat him for lunch. It's a warning, not an announcement. "Your life is over." This makes Marmaduke feel sick inside. Or perhaps he's faking illness so she won't want to eat him anymore. "

HA HA HA HA! Ha. Awesome. This is it, I know it for sure. It's like Misery with Marmaduke in the James Caan role, and the unnamed woman (we've been talking about her for several days now -- does ANYONE know her name??) in the Kathy Bates role. She is keeping him there in bed, trapped, unable to go anywhere . . . just waiting for "lunch time." Every lunch time, she eats just a little more of his flesh. His body. His soul. (OK, so Kathy Bates didn't EAT James Caan in Misery, but still . . .)

Look at that comic again. Look at the abject horror and pain on Marm's face. Look at the seemingly innocent lady. Now think that she's coming in to eat a little bit of him. HA HA HA!

AWWWWWESOME.

Kitty updates as they come in.