Gift-Giving Guide

Christmas is rapidly approaching, and for those of us who celebrate the holiday, it is a time fraught with stress and indecision. What to give the boss? Your neighbor? How will you get all your gifts in time? Why don't we take some time for a lesson in gift-giving etiquette. Courtesy of Mr. Thirsty Thurston.


If you are a Hi and Lois follower, you will recognize Thirsty as Hi's ne'er do well neighbor AND co-worker. He is a drunken, lazy oaf who mis-treats his wife and whose idea of home upkeep surely depresses property values in at least a five mile radius. So, we can be sure that whatever Thirsty does is looked down upon and presented to us as an example of what not to do.

I am a little confused, because it appears that what Thirsty has done here is first, order some gifts online (while whistling a one note tune), and second, take out some cash and then distribute it in individually addressed envelopes. He is even thoughtful enough to provide the neighbor children with a gift. And . . . all 2 weeks before Christmas. And this is bad because???????? Because -- see the description of Thirsty in the paragraph above.

I am a little confused, because I think online is the very best way to shop -- no fighting crowds, no looking for parking spots, and they ship the stuff for you! But, see, I guess I am lazy like Mr. Thurston. Shopping should be painful and difficult (even to the point that you bring the wrong man home with you -- see today's Blondie.) And, while I think most of us would enjoy cash, it is indeed gauche (unless you are someone's uncle). Gift cards are NOT considered gauche. But, if you think about it, they're really just fancy cash. Fancy cash that you can only spend in a certain place. Still, they are acceptable gifts. Cash isn't. If that makes any sense. Although, cash seems to be considered an acceptable gift from an older relative. So, again, it's just a confusing social more.

I have no lesson to impart today, because I do think gift-giving etiquette is a minefield to be navigated carefully. If someone gives you a gift, but you weren't planning on giving them one, then do you go out right away and get a gift so that you can give them one back? Isn't what you just did totally obvious? If you are giving everyone in your office homemade cookies, but one of your co-workers is on a diet, do you just give her cookies, too, even though she either won't eat them or will feel guilty about eating them? Or, do you give everyone cookies, and give her a scented candle? How obvious is that???

So, it is a confusing world. Made even more confusing by today's Hi and Lois. Because it is Thirsty doing all this, and the creators of H&L have led us to believe that anything Thirsty does is BAD, I guess this shopping of his is bad, too. But it seems totally OK to me!!!

Aren't you glad you aren't on my Christmas list, eh?