A Tale of Woe
Guh-ross! That "cold dog" is one of the grossest things I believe I have ever seen. YUCKY.
It's all black and shiny and it looks like it is staring at me. It also looks a little bit like it is wiggling. Those lines around the outside of the cold dog are supposed to be the flat part of the plate, but they make it look like the cold dog is ALIVE.
AIEEEE! It is staring out at you from its charred, grimacing, mouth-like bun. It wiggles in its captivity: the gaping maw of the mouth bun has trapped it, and now this seemingly innocent kid wants to subject it to more punishing heat rays. "Help me!" the cold dog's one eye implores you. But you cannot possibly help the cold dog; its very nature is hideous to you. You look away, pretend not to notice. Thelma will reheat the cold dog for Jeffy. This is inevitable. This is life.
You glance away in the nick of time. Oh look! There's that cute little Dennis fellow bothering grumpy Mr. Wilson.
posted by big al at 3:28 PM
6 Comments:
It's black in the color version, too? Ew that is the grossest shit I have ever seen. I need to gag! ACK!
Jeffy is engaged in a sort of double-entendre with his mom, here. The whiff of incestuous foreplay fills me with revulsion every bit as much as the vision of that thing on his plate.
I mean, "reheat my cold dog"? Keep your hands on the table, Jeff.
If I may indulge in another round of Family Circus Mad Libs:
"Hey--who replaced my hot dog with a turd sandwich? NOT ME!"
It's more than a little phallic, isn't it?
Jon -- LOL! NOT ME!
I want to know if Thel served all the kids charred hot dogs, or just Jeffy. This has to be some form of child abuse. A blackened hot dog wrapped in a bun that appears to have been used to wipe up dirt or something. What kind of household is this?
One that hates Jeffy, Jacey. If you look back at strips as early as the 60s, you'll notice how Jeffy has been abused. This hot dog looks like it was cooked in Daddy's car's exhaust pipe...Or perhaps it was used to clean the drippings around the furnace. Yum.
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