Mallard says: "White Kidz is Stoopid"
We don't get Mallard Fillmore in the Raleigh News & Observer. That means I have to actively seek it out. So, I usually miss it. Too bad, because its blend of conservative politics and lame jokes are two of my least favorite things.
Word is that most papers run Mallard to counteract the liberal Doonesbury. LIBERAL BIAS ALERT: Doonesbury is nuanced, with finely drawn characters confronting a wide range of issues from geo-politics to where to go to college. Mallard Fillmore has a talking duck. It's the conservative comic strip version of an AFLAC trivia question.
Also? Someone thinks the comics need to balance out all the liberal views going on there? Have these people not enjoyed the 1950s stylings of Blondie, Beetle Bailey, Hi&Lois, Dennis the Menace, The Family Circus . . .? Heck, I know Hagar takes place in Beowulf-times, but its cheesy blend of "doctors are quacks/ women are nags/ men like beer humor" seems like some of the same jokes that kept Baby and her family entertained during summers at Kellerman's.
So, anyway: Mallard Fillmore. This week has been a "Kennedys are bad/drunk drivers" joke week. Ah, Kennedy bashing! OK, so not particularly funny, but . . . well, it's kind of true. I don't plan on getting into a Kennedy-powered vehicle any time soon. And I am sure this will be followed by a week of "Rush Limbaugh is a pill popping freak" jokes, right?
So, imagine my surprise at today's strip:
Nary a Kennedy to be found.
So, this bashes U.S.-born Caucasians? More likely, it's just a "damn those slant-eyes and dot-not-feather-Indians and their smart, geeky ways." Or, maybe Mallard really is hating on the white males! Could it be?
I think they may not major in "Math and Science," because "Math and Science" isn't really a degree. Well, "Math" is, but "Science?" Mallard, FYI, nowadays they break that down into, you know, physics, engineering, chemistry, computer science, biology and the like.
And what the hell is he talking about? I went to a fine undergraduate institution where 2/3 of the student body (predominately "U.S.-born Caucasians") majored in a science or math discipline. Not me, no sir, I'm just a crazy, lazy, liberal poly sci gal, but there are others who did. And my brother, and his wife, and my best friend from high school, and all the kids at the dental school where I work . . . Shut up, Mallard. I know lots of U.S-born Caucasians majoring in science and math. There are probably a lot fewer U.S.-born AFRICAN AMERICANS majoring in science and math. Maybe that would have been a more logical joke, huh? But, you wouldn't want a diatribe like that letting your readers confuse you with The Boondocks. I understand.
Besides, are you sure this is something you want to push? You get a lot of Caucasians majoring in things like biology and environmental science, next thing you know they start believing in the "science" of "evolution" and the "facts" behind "climate change," and the "idea" that "condoms" can prevent the spread of "disease." AND WE ALL KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE.
WHITEY DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' SCIENCE!
Word is that most papers run Mallard to counteract the liberal Doonesbury. LIBERAL BIAS ALERT: Doonesbury is nuanced, with finely drawn characters confronting a wide range of issues from geo-politics to where to go to college. Mallard Fillmore has a talking duck. It's the conservative comic strip version of an AFLAC trivia question.
Also? Someone thinks the comics need to balance out all the liberal views going on there? Have these people not enjoyed the 1950s stylings of Blondie, Beetle Bailey, Hi&Lois, Dennis the Menace, The Family Circus . . .? Heck, I know Hagar takes place in Beowulf-times, but its cheesy blend of "doctors are quacks/ women are nags/ men like beer humor" seems like some of the same jokes that kept Baby and her family entertained during summers at Kellerman's.
So, anyway: Mallard Fillmore. This week has been a "Kennedys are bad/drunk drivers" joke week. Ah, Kennedy bashing! OK, so not particularly funny, but . . . well, it's kind of true. I don't plan on getting into a Kennedy-powered vehicle any time soon. And I am sure this will be followed by a week of "Rush Limbaugh is a pill popping freak" jokes, right?
So, imagine my surprise at today's strip:
Nary a Kennedy to be found.
So, this bashes U.S.-born Caucasians? More likely, it's just a "damn those slant-eyes and dot-not-feather-Indians and their smart, geeky ways." Or, maybe Mallard really is hating on the white males! Could it be?
I think they may not major in "Math and Science," because "Math and Science" isn't really a degree. Well, "Math" is, but "Science?" Mallard, FYI, nowadays they break that down into, you know, physics, engineering, chemistry, computer science, biology and the like.
And what the hell is he talking about? I went to a fine undergraduate institution where 2/3 of the student body (predominately "U.S.-born Caucasians") majored in a science or math discipline. Not me, no sir, I'm just a crazy, lazy, liberal poly sci gal, but there are others who did. And my brother, and his wife, and my best friend from high school, and all the kids at the dental school where I work . . . Shut up, Mallard. I know lots of U.S-born Caucasians majoring in science and math. There are probably a lot fewer U.S.-born AFRICAN AMERICANS majoring in science and math. Maybe that would have been a more logical joke, huh? But, you wouldn't want a diatribe like that letting your readers confuse you with The Boondocks. I understand.
Besides, are you sure this is something you want to push? You get a lot of Caucasians majoring in things like biology and environmental science, next thing you know they start believing in the "science" of "evolution" and the "facts" behind "climate change," and the "idea" that "condoms" can prevent the spread of "disease." AND WE ALL KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE.
WHITEY DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' SCIENCE!
posted by big al at 8:24 PM
6 Comments:
That boy in Mallard looks like he's elementary school age.
Don't forget B.C.! I think it is pretty conservative. But if you knew a lot about science, you would know that cavemen didn't play baseball.
You forgot your Dad who majored in that all time favorite "liberal arts" subject, History. And why are they called liberal arts, don't we hate liberals? We don't want our kids learning "liberal" arts, do we? By the way, loved the reference to Baby and Kellerman's!
I went to a fine undergraduate institution where 2/3 of the student body (predominately "U.S.-born Caucasians") majored in a science or math discipline.
Despite your Chapel Hill location, you can't talking about the University of North Carolina. NC State, maybe? When I went to Carolina, I think the majority of undergrads majored in business.
US Naval Academy Class of 1995.
We sez "Beet Armie"
When Bill Clinton sidestepped the various mud being thrown his way, people would sometimes suggest that he'd performed a sort of "jujitsu" -- that he'd shrewdly "used the momentum" of the attacks against him to take down his attackers. I liked the expression then -- jujitsu -- and sort of believed in Bill's canny use of the political version.
Along comes Mallard Fillmore into my life, and now, well, Clinton doesn't seem like he had to be all that clever after all. If Mallard Fillmore is the best conservative America can do to attempt the balance that's supposedly so lacking, there's no need for any sort of martial art to make conservatives look asinine.
Mallard has momentum, that's for sure; get Tinsley going on the idea that kids sometimes trick or treat when they're a little too old, and he'll beat that theme into the ground for a week. He devoted endless strips this year to touting Oklahoma's crackpot first-term Senator, Tom Coburn, for President. (A Coburn quote: "[L]esbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go the bathroom." Solid choice Mallard.)
From the perpetually peeved "What's wrong with kids today?" expression on Mallard's obnoxious bill on, this strip is just plain harming the cause it claims to represent. Hey, let's make fun of white people! These conservatives sure do keep a "big tent" politically, don't they? It's like all the worst traits of half-thought American conservatism, all wrapped up in a cartoon that's... what... icky.
No need for any jujitsu-style takedowns here. Mallard will fall squarely on that squashed face of his, all on his own.
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