Dog Gone Funny? Not Funny. Not True?

Marc gave the head's up on this yesterday. Since I don't get the Sunday funnies until, well, Sunday . . . I had to wait and see, but here it is! Miriam Murdock of Chapel Hill has sent her dog gone "funny" story to Marmaduke.

I guess it's sort of cute -- not really laugh out loud funny -- and begs the question: who sends these in? And for that matter, how do the powers that be at Marmaduke decide which ones to publish? How many get sent in every week? Is there any sort of verification procedure? How do we know this so-called "Miriam Murdock" actually exists?? I don't have a dog, but I sure as heck could sit here and think up a funnier story ABOUT a dog than this one Miriam submitted.

(Although, probably, according to the judges at Marmaduke, I couldn't. Which reminds me of the time Mr. Big Al and I attempted to make some big bucks from Reader's Digest. They have these columns where readers can send in funny stories and earn up to $300!!! One of the columns is "Humor in Uniform." And the "jokes" or "funny" stories are . . . AWFUL! I mean, this may be where Mort Walker goes when he desperately needs an idea for Beetle Bailey. Well, since the hubby and I have 21 years combined "in uniform," and since we both pride ourselves on our keen wits and sharp senses of humor, we saw dollar signs! Of COURSE we could tell funnier stories than the lame ones Reader's Digest publishes. . . wrong! Although we stuck to purely PG stories . . . not a single one chosen, and every time I read "Humor" in Uniform, I gag a little. "Humor" my ass! Some of them are clearly recycled jokes we've all heard 100 times before. Damn you, Reader's Digest!)

So, no, I won't be attempting to get published in Marmaduke's "Dog Gone Funny," with a fake "funny" story about my fake dog. But, really, how do we know this Miriam is for real? Does she REALLY have a cocker spaniel named Taffy? Did this alleged incident of the "no leash" actually ever happen? When Marmaduke picks your story to publish, do they send people out to verify that the incident ever actually occurred? Do they interview you, your neighbors, potential witnesses? Do they at least require you send a picture of your so-called dog?

I don't trust "Dog Gone Funny." No, not one bit.

Speaking of made up stories, let's hear it: What terrible things do you want to happen to Cathy?