Happy Father's Day!

Good day to all you fathers out there. This is another of those holidays that the funnies love to celebrate. Father's and Mother's Days are probably two of the funnies favorites, and my guess is that it's because, like Easter, they ALWAYS fall on a Sunday. Still, in many respects, it was a disappointing comics holiday. There were no hideous tie gifts in the News & Observer, and, just like on Mother's Day, no ruined, breakfast-in-bed-disastered kitchens. Kids today, I tell ya. The ruined kitchen on Mother's and/or Father's Day is an unfunny comic cliche that I count on. You know what it means when you can't count on the cliches? Well, it COULD mean that mothers-in-law are decent, fun people; bosses are understanding; doctors don't like to golf; children aren't cute . . . you get the picture.

Here's a Father's Day rundown (as seen in the Raleigh News & Observer):

FBOFW: April and Elly team up to give John a gym membership and a massage (no, not that kind of massage). So, this is a nice enough gift, a fairly original comics concept, nothing too FBOFW-treacly. Good deal.

Sally Forth: The Forths are sitting around with newspaper hats. No mention of Father's Day at all. Poor, overlooked Ted. This one is pretty funny, as the 4 consecutive panels of Forths in newspaper hats make them look 100% throw-away-the-key nutty.

FunkyWinkerbean: It features Les and Lisa, but no mention of Father's Day. Poor Les. Not to fear, after several weeks of high-school hijinx, it looks like we are back to the fun, fun cancer storyline! No mention of Becky and Wally, and Wally's impending fatherhood. IF he can make it back from Iraq alive! Maybe he won't, and when Lisa kicks it from the cancer return, Les and Becky can hook up.

FoxTrot: Father's Day is never mentioned, but Roger does get to go golfing, so maybe that was his gift. He's a terrible golfer, but we see, for the first time ever, perhaps a hint of where Jason's math geekiness comes from?

Hagar: No mention of Father's Day, but I don't think they had the holiday back in ancient Viking times, did they?

Luann: Luann's over preparation for the holiday leads the dad to say "No gifts necessary." Which was Luann's goal all along. Poor Brad with a stack of gifts. My guess? Brad comes out looking better than Luann in the end. That "your company is good enough," is about as true as "it's the thought that counts."

Cathy: Isn't Cathy's dad a great man? He's taught her songs, stories, jokes, etc. You know, they say a father's relationship with his daughter has a lot to do with her self-esteem, her view of the world, and her relationships with men. So, don't try to pull this "Cathy's dad was great" stunt. HE RAISED CATHY. He must have been one f'd up dad.

Zits: Another one that ignores the holiday. Poor Dr. Duncan.

Blondie: Also ignores the holiday. Poor Dagwood. At least he gets to play ball with Elmo. Elmo must have some really bad father if he has to play catch with Dagwood on Father's Day. Maybe it's Cathy's dad.

Hi & Lois: Ah, the infamous "job jar.' But, it's full of fun things for Hi to do, including GOLF, which we know is a big favorite of all men in the funnies.

Wizard of Id: The King threw his father in the dungeon years ago. Does this surprise us? Do we care? Is it funny? No. No. No.

Jump Start/Baby Blues: Again no mention of the holiday. WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON? These strips both center around the kids. Gah! And Jump Start has spent the last several weeks building up Marci's relationship with her step-dad. A wasted opportunity.

Non Sequitur: When Baby Blues ignores Father's Day, but Non Sequitur doesn't, that's some weird stuff going on. And, they celebrate Captain Eddie, who is NOT a father, which is the point of their celebration. OK.

Family Circus: Billy filling in today, and it's as lame and stupid as ever. My favorite bit was his drawing of "Ho, Ho!" With this kind of hoe, not this kind -- which would have been so much funnier.

B.C.: Tells us that Father's Day is just "a commercial ploy to sell greeting cards 'n' stuff." No duh.

Dennis the Menace: Mr. Mitchell does get a tie, but he calls it "lovely," so our one great chance for a terrible tie is missed.

Rhymes with Orange: Dad is grilling hot dogs, son is grilling cocktail wieners. Cute.